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Monday, January 31, 2011

miracle happen

lame gile nak post psal ni..hahahaha
tp sumpah touching la tgk~
sebagai pompuan haruslah lepas tengok terus touching beserta ayer mata bila sampai at the end of clip ni...


mane la nak jumpa ini....time laki ni purpose kat tempat keje gurl tu pon aku dh start touching...
smua benda nak touching...
it also remind me of my cousin who face the same obstacle as chris's gf. kalau takde semangat yang kuat dari orang sekeliling.Maybe sekarang ni die dh lama tak bernafas. She have the same age as haziqah my younger sister.17 years old. Sebab car accident,she stayed in coma for a few weeks.Duration time yang enough untuk doctor cut off her life..Memang doctor pon kate takde harapan semua.Tak mungkin dapat bangun la..apa la.. TeTApiiiii Mungkin dari berkat doa parents and her family.she survive untuk hidup. But the suffering did not end at that time.For several years she couldn't walk or even talk. Every time I came to visit.It killing me apart seeing her condition to be that worst.. She was brilliant ,active and very cheerful before she turn to be that way. Macam ziqa,dorang suka compare kedudukan dalam kelas and markah exam bila jumpa. Dia agak rapat dengan ziqa... Ada doctor yang mak die jumpa untuk dapatkan advice siap bagitau ; " tak payah la susah payah.dia takda harapan dah.tak mungkin nak bercakap atau be normal again" Belajar terlalu pandai boleh buat kita lupa Setiap yang terjadi atas ketentuan Tuhan.... Apa salah untuk seorang ibu(reffering to my aunt) to have some faith that she going to be fine one day. Having a hope At least she can take care of herself in future. She still herself.Ceria dan tersenyum setiap kali orang melawat dia. Masa awal-awal benda ni jadi.Muka dia memang tak dapat sembunyikan kesedihan. Selalu mention psal nak mati...Kalau aku pon kena.Mesti pikir yang sama. Though she not able to talk.she start learning to type in text msg when asking for something.Atau nak luahkan perasaan. She was close with my father when he was around..Arwah Abah selalu jenguk lawat dia.Almost every week. Masa arwah abah last g umrah.Sempat doakan kat tempat yang mustajab. Tapi,Lepas balik dari umrah,abah tak sempat nak jumpa that pitty girl.  Few weeks lepas tu she started to talk..And she can never stop talking after that.Lepas die dah dapat bercakap barulah she can smile brighter dari sebelum tu. Agak susah nak pulihkan semangat budak macam ni.Kalau tak sebab family support.Not sure how she able to face everything on her own. Ya Allah banyak sungguh nikmat-Mu yang aku lupa syukuri.  Dan aku masih merasa tak cukup setelah banyak yang telah Kau beri. Bersyukur dan terus bersyukur.Dan jangan pernah berhenti berharap pada sesuatu yang mustahil. Hanya Tuhan yang dapat tentukan apa yang ingin diberi. such miracle could happen to her.it can happen to anyone.selagi kita percaya.

Saturday, January 29, 2011

menyedih

mood sedeh: entah~macam tak de rasa nak beli laptop baru lagi skang ni.
I don't feel like changing to new laptop anymore.
biar la pe nak jadi...If rosak atau tak boleh pakai bila sampai Brisbane. Nak pikir psal tu nanti.
Lantak dah la....
Rasa nak tawakal aje. Ada orang jadi kan issue when I started asking for a thing that I thought I deserved.
suppose to be my turn.I let her step ahead before me.though I made a right decision for letting off my dream 3years ago..try to be patience and think about others who I care.But she just don't get it.
Takde sape nak amek port bila dia asking macam2 before...kenapa harus die nak sibuk bila time aku?

rasa tungang terbalik diri
Aku cuba jauhkan diri dari masalah.I hate fighting.
I hate getting hurt at place where I seek for a peace of mind....Thought place where I belong to.but surely,
I just feel vulnerable all the time.
Tak sangka psal benda ni aku nak sedeh n menangis.Tak taulah....
bukan sebab tak dapat apa yang aku nak.Cuma aku tak suka,orang persoalkan benda yang aku betul-betul pasti.
Mungkin bukan sekarang.Biarlah nanti...aku cuba pikir jalan lain.Biarpun jalan yang ni tertutup.
Entahlah,bagi aku biar lah berbaloi....
Tamak ke aku?selfish sangat ke aku?Sebab aku tahu ape yang aku nak jadikan aku ditempat yang bersalah.
Suarakan isi hati aku.Jadi penyebab untuk orang lain membenci diri aku


Listen to the song here in my heart

A melody I start but can't complete
Listen to the sound from deep within
It's only beginning to find release

Friday, January 28, 2011

Subang Naili's Place

pergh...tak nak lelap lak aku ni~~arghhhhh!!
Naili's Place
Tadi time  layan colombia kopi kat Taipan... rasa nak lelap jer..
minum kopi pon nk tido...pahit ajo kopi er....terpaksa telan sbb harga dah rm5.
(tu je paling murah ok!)sape suh gatal nk lepak tempat camtu...
kejam gile letak pic gelap!
(black pepper chicken chop-rm19.90)

tapi serius deCo Lawa...respect gak...nanti masyuk baru ler g situ...huhu~ (xtahu la bila er)
On the way nak chow pon 'jAm'...mmg layan la mata ku ini.

TApi nak gak Lepak kat kak Mah kampung baru...hahaha,maybe sbb smua noobies..
ntah hape2 kitaorg cedok....rasa er pelik-pelik.Tak seswai ngan lidah memasing.
SApe suh gatal2 bebel cite psal zaman skolah..wakakaka...
skang dah tak ler tido.JEda dah sedap tido sebelah ni...(T,T)
kul 12 am baru ingat nak balik... balik ngn jeda kebetulan die nk g UIA....
xxxxx JELES giLer Dorang dh Tgk GreEN HorNEt.xxxxxxxx
Smoga esok membawa sinar harapan baru buatku...dup~dup~

Motif typing?? sbb aku dah gile asik baca blog orang..bukan ketagih.tapi penat layan fb dah.
takde sape nk layan aku...huks3~
Tetiba aku rasa manusia dan ego memang bahaya.
Sombong tu sifat sEtan.Dorang kena halau dari neraka sebab EgO/sombong.
Aku macam disagree ngn someone.Tapi dalam keadaan sombong sukar untuk orang tu terima nasihat.
Dalam keadaan aku yang serba kurang.Tak mungkin orang nak cuba faham.
Simple je....bila datang bab agama.
Kita takyah la nak carik sebab hingga keakar umbi untuk taat pada suruhan-Nya.
Tak kisah dari segi apa.
Islam tu mudah.Jangan belitkan..dengan kata-katamu.
Atau mungkin ayat kamu yang dalam gundah gulana.
Kalau terkehel tutur bicara.possible ke lembah derhaka akhir nya.
Berhati-hati dengan empunya hati..Dibolak balik Tuhan kerana itu milik-NYa.
Menghadap Satu kita Tunduk.Bukan jawapan berliku-liku yang kita cari.Tapi keinsafan disudut nurani.
Kau boleh berikan beribu dalil.
NAMUN,Hanya PErLu Satu sebab untuk kau KemBALi.
Patuhnya kamu kerana Tuhan kamu.
aku cuma teringat ustazah aku pernah tanye.
"Sebab ape korang solat?"
sebab dalam rukun islam ..........sebab boleh mencegah dari perkara mungkar....sebab tiang agama.Tanpa Tiang Runtuh la agama.Macam-macam la sebab.
sebab itu..dan sebab ini......banyak sebab kalau manusia ni nak bagi....
Tapi kadang-kadang kita lupa satu perkara SEBAB sibuk nak carik sebab.
..................................................
mestilah sebab itu yang Allah suruh.Wajibkan.
Sakit pon kita kena solat.macam mana pon kita kena solat.selagi waras fikiran kita ni.
Aku pon pernah lobang gak.cuma aku bagi contoh solat...perkara wajib yang lain sama la jugak.
Kita kena Sayang Allah dulu.Baru kita Sayang Nabi.Baru kita sayang ibu bapa. dan kasih sayang tu akan terus meluas.
Jangan la carik sebab banyak sangat.Pangkal er cuma SATU!kembali pada yang SATU.

terus terang: aku rasa benci baca ayat orang yang cuba putar belitkan fakta.
Kenapa sangup nak buat ayat yang boleh membuatkan orang yang baca timbul rasa keraguan?TEringIN giLe nak copy paste ayat blogger ni.Tapi aku nk copy paste pon rasa takut...Bodoh la kot sebab ada yang cuba buat ayat yang persoalkan psal Nabi.Walau at the end niat ko nak suh orang sedar /respek kat Nabi.
AKu pon risau nak post psal ni.TApi rasa xbest bila aku baca-baca balik ayat penulis ni.
memula aku suka baca blog mamat ni.Sebab sesuatu sebab.Tetiba masuk entri ni.Aku sentap jap.
Terkebil-kebil padahal tak ngantok..Aku takut baca certain ayat yang tertera.
dia tak sempurna.macam aku.banyak cacat cela..Tapi harap tak jadi terlalu ego..

Tapi kita tak boleh nak judge orang.Takde hak nak judge orang sebenar er.
Tuhan je tahu isi disebalik Kulit yang dorang pakai.

Mengucap lah sebelum tidurmu
Memaafkan semua orang agar tenang jiwamu.
Tak pasti celik nya mata.Ditempat mana Tuhan tentukan.





Thursday, January 27, 2011

Sentap gitu

Few daya ago aku Mcm nk tgk filem Faster. Tapi xde org lak nk teman.
Tgh pikir2 sape nk dijadikan mangsa.ttiba ada lak sorng kwn ni Ym- ing aku ajak tgk.
Rofl,aku Mmg suko la gk ada org ofer.
Pastu dia tanye aku balik.
"Takde ke kwn aku lain yang nk join ? "
Huh?dalam ati, Klau ada org len xda la aku nk g ngn die..
"Hahaa,xde la bai...nnti aku tnye ayed ke if Die nk Join"

"bukan ape, aku rasa tak molek kite keluar berdua..."
krek...krekk... (bunyi cengkerik)
dah tu kenapa ko ajak?confius...
Jangan celarukan aku dengan kehendak+kebingungan prinsip kamu dengan diriku.
Ape aku mrepek...hahaha,perot saket smlm byk sgt push up... Tp x kempis2. Ayooyoooo

sementara tunggu jeda di aQUAria meriang ria..aku mengarut diluar-luaran.
tapi ini seksi...LIKE!asli...tak perlu implan~

Tuesday, January 25, 2011

selepas mengosip..

I should stop my habit writing on notepad since my laptop keep crushing down unexpectedly .
Everything I put down will gone.
and for someone who have a low memory on remember thing.I forget easily.
My wireless ain't working.Start using the broadband again.

At least I feel much relief after meeting some friends last night.
Less burden after suffering that I couldn't explain.


At least I be able to cry after saying what I want last night.
Be able to share some of my thought with some friends that able to listen.
Though not all are pour out.at least some have going out of my mind.

few days ago have been quite tough day for me.thinking about some problem on my own..Not able to tell someone on the phone.typing only make it hard on me.
Try not to believe what some creatures have make me feel so bad this few days.
Is it easy to hate people?
Why easier for some to make me think I don't deserve to hold some  happiness ..
To make me feel bad on myself?

this is much hurting..feeling unwanted and make me feel I should just hate myself for what I have became.
I Don't able to tell what I really want.
Don't able to know how the other party are doing and thinking about me?
Is not like I want to read people mind..
Why is hard to understand them?

sometime it easier to sing it then to say it.
To feel it with your heart but couldn't see it with your eyes.




The world is all around us It's much too big to see,
The words are seldom honest so we never disagree
The world is all around us
But have you noticed me?
Yeah,the world has overshadowed me

The world is all around us
So tell me what you see
Yeah The world is all around us
There's little room to breathe....

Monday, January 24, 2011

viva Palestina Malaysia at Mandarin Hotel

Semalam petang,
Time nak kuar g Jaya One.Ibu remind.balik awal.Kena teman dinner.
Have no idea dinner melibat kan VPM er launching..
AKu pon merewang sorang-sorang kat street market Jaya One.
Motif nk usha click shop er booth je...Konon nak beli camera.and tak jadi.
Rasa pening sebab banyak sgt pemandangan yg kureng masuk ngan mood aku.ENd up~ g 7-E.Beli Caramel Mochiato dan pulang (UWeks...manis giler kopi ni!)




Location: Mandarin Hotel.
Last minute call.Ibu pon baru teringat ada benda ni.
Food review.okey la!Macam Chinese style.Takler la nak complaint kan Tipah,Tijah kalau dah kate charity event.LEn la g kenduri orang kawen.
story psal makan dulu;









                     starter:refer menu!



time dessert ni tercekik gak sbb Mc dah suh cpat2 makan sbb nak dgr Laureen Booth er citer.




MC :Wardina
Artis jemputan : Dina (I think she the singer for the theme song also)
best gak lagu tu...tp memory full nk rakam lagu tu.
Special Guest : Tun Dr. Mahathir bin Mohamad 

Bab paling touching.Bila Laureen Booth.journalist from britain cite pengalaman dia and anak dia try nak berjuang untuk freedom of Palestine.Time dia cite pon dah bergenang ayer mata.
Kalau akuseorang bebudak yang tgh amek SPM mesti aku teruskan cita-cita asal jd journalist and  polish literature aku yang mcm bungeng ni.
Sememangnya,story die sangat inspiring.Padahal starting she only write about Fashion and thing that unrelated with this topic. die activis untuk kebebasan GAza.nak cite banyak aku pon tak tau..
bila aku google-google aku baru tahu.Laureen ni sister in Law Tony Blair

antara yang touching dari citer beliau. Ada orang pernah tanye,"why do you bring your child to such a dangerous place?"
She answered ; "You don't know cause You never been to Gaza."

Tak silap anak dia pon make an effort dengan joint Peace Cycle
banyak gak cabaran dan pengalaman dia.
Dia cite dari mcam mane dia bler start involve.

time makan-makan tu ada slide yang try bagi kesedaran if Malaysia turn to be like Gaza.Bila Israel dah meluaskan pengaruh.It might happen.and we never know.

Dina nyanyi lagu theme VPM

there somewhere dalam buku yang dapat time majlis ni.Insha'Allah I'll put it sooner.

Antara yang ditekan kan tentang isu ini;

Taken from ;From the Universal Declaration of Human Rights 

Article 13.

  • (1) Everyone has the right to freedom of movement and residence within the borders of each state.
  • (2) Everyone has the right to leave any country, including his own, and to return to his country.
last picture and wassalam~

Saturday, January 22, 2011

Down Fever


.......have u Ever know someone who
Never Like u since forever.u learn to be hate.
To be someone who have to be alone all
The time. Learn to set urself as second choice and
Forget ur Dreams bcause u too tired to get hurt.
Keep ur mouth shut So u won't be hated again.
She make me remember dat i don't deserve to be happy
.She make the person who i bcome today.Keep my distance with person
I Care and love So i can let them happy without being to close with them.
i never really know how to be nice with people.
i'm just someone who prefer to get hurt then to be happy.
Who knew Thai it hard to try to make someone Like my own self.


....,I'm crying from the inside.hope i'll b strong from some reason i couldn't tell

Story kek bakar coklat( tanpa telor )

smalam tersengal rasa nak wat kek chocolate  again.
selepas 3 kali kek choclate version kukus last year.dan kali terakhir tak jadi
smua sbb resepi asal hilang n tercemas cedok dr tenet je.MAka,semalam aku bertukar
ke version bakar.dup3,pas wat cheese cake (sekali jadi n skali tak). dah slow nk wat kek balik.hahaha,cepat er aku mengalah erk...dah natural pemalas.xbuleh nk tolong okeh!

PLus mmg kena bgun pagi antar ibu. chances buat kek agak tinggi..
konon er on d way pulang nk singgah tesco.mcm dah bukak kot kul 8 lbey.
niat  nak beli lemon dengan choclate bar aje.
dayummmm er saket perot memulas terjadik lalu trus pulang kerumah...
sOLUTIOn ?kena g kedai yena berhampiran je ar.ramalan mmg hampa.
choclate bar takde.LEmoN aku mintak,limau nipis yg dihulurkan...PEngSan aku lyan yena ni....beli telor je akher er~
dah start kemas barang nk wat kek.baru sedar receipe ni xde guna telor pon.hahaha!hantu xbace btul2...
kekonon mlas nk salin n save dlm ipod.naseb la kan~
ini kEk seswai la untuk orang yang allergic teloq atau vegetarian.

go check in here if minat nak try >> http://www.joyofbaking.com/ChocolateCake.html
ni website favourite jeda.aku berpinar sket nak bace receipe in english .selama ni tengok receipe melayu aje kan~
aku rasa okeh je.tapi sbb aku estimate time 30minit ikot instruction tapi lupe loyang aku agak lebar sket.suppose 20 minit dah bler angkat.tp ak nenong-nenong terhangus la kan.
solution?terbalik kan kek.letak yang hangus dibwah.
& yupssss,topping pon aku tak follow sbb takde heavy cream.men bedal je la ngoy~
yang pasti aku tau topping tu mmg tak enak klau dijilat dengan jari..ala-ala dark cekelet yg pio punyer...


eh3,baru perasan.tadi bangun tinggal disebalik pisau je.okeh ar tu.ada gak sangup telan~
tetiba gak ibu passing receipe kek kukus choclate.aiksss~baru ingat nak benti mengukus.


planning ari ni; tunggu keta abes service.n nak g usha street market
kat jaya one. harapan?? ada special price..mwahahaha

Thursday, January 20, 2011

Melawat dan makan

few days back,g melawat mak(referring maklong) kat HUKM sbb die baru lepas kena surgery.
Kak Ngah pon dtg skali which mean they back reunite again at that day.
Sangat pening jlan nk g HUKM if dtg dari sg besi er highway.
chat-chating n balik.Sebab xnak berpusing-pusing mcm datang tadi,decide ikot jlan yg len.Lalu depan kompleks renang n dewan apentah.ttiba ibu suh ingat time kecik2 ingat tak kitaorg tgk Malik Nor bina badan.
OWh,kecik2 dulu mmg aku ingat ada sekali dua pergi tgk show sukan2 ni.Tapi aku hanya end up tidur sebelum show start lg.hahaha~
 Last-last mkan kat Kg baru.Chinese Muslim restaurant depan UNIKL. Medina kot nama er.
entah la..sudah lupe~memory lost kan after 24h



Jangan terpedaya!!1901 er card ni ler guna kat menara TM je.hampeh~
benefit?tak ingat la,maybe mcm bubble tea er card tu kot.beli 10 dpat 1.
tao fu (Xtau la eja dr dlu) sizzling.around rm8

Ada telur layer bwah tao fu tu.Fill with sayur dan cendawan jua.
siakap tomyam


butter prawn
bila la aku sendiri nak try smpai jadi nie?hurm~

n last menu Syiah er nasi paprik.ayer kendondong +mocha blended+choclate blended+barley suam+2 cup of chinese tea.Smua cost around RM60 kot.Hahaha.tp lauk sangat banyak.n sebab aku tak berjaya abeskan maybe aku n chinese food agak tak ngam.
selalu aje x abes each time order chinese food.Maybe sbb xbrape pedas kot.
service agak lambat.nak kate ramai orang tak gak.stiap kali dorang hidang makanan,kaklong mesti kuar ayat.
"kenapa orang tu dapat dulu dari kita.kan kita smpai dulu"
aku malas nak layan sbb aku xde la lapar pon
"maybe sbb kita order lambat kot tadi."
Padahal aku tak perasan pape pon.
balik rumah.terbongkang tidur.zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.


Sunday, January 16, 2011

sinikal er hidup + review khurafat




1) pagi td ibu ajak teman g subang.
"ada program ape?"
"nak agihkan barang utk org miskin "
"subang?"sinikal er orang selalu anggap subang tmpat hip orang kaya-raya.
Plus selalu er program yg mak ak join selalu kat tempat cerok-cerok..ttiba arini kat bandar lak.

sebab ape muka syiah terponga?
die kagum n ttiba suh aku wat sbb die kate sedap.ape hingat  ler tau resepi dengan sekali gigit.zessss~

aunty2 yg ghajin~erks,ak knal 2/3 org je

2) Dua hari lepas makan ayam penyet ria kat depan wangsa walk.Eh,aku tak tau mane satu depan belakang mall tu.Owhhhh,tidak sma feeling dengan wong solo.slalu ak mkan wong solo rasa tak cukup je.Pastu balik smua mengantuk rasa nk pengsan...apesal kah aku,ketagih ayam penyet wong solo ini...

3) Hari yg sma di waktu malam, layan cite khurafat.
Orang kate best gile.Tapi,bukan la sbb utama aku nk tgk.Review kat paper pon ak mlas nk bace.kuh3~pas tgk br tau cite ni agak mlebey gak promo er.
Maybe sbb soundtrack filem ni shamsul ni yg rapping n nyanyi sendiri...(buley ke jadi penarik?entah la...)
Aku suka sebab ada subtitle.time tgk kak limah xde subtitle.bila satu wyg gelak2...agak blur bila xdpt dengar dialog selanjut er.
Plotting cite menarik.Sia-sia tengok if korang dah tau ending

cliché filem yusof haslam mmg ada.Entah la,kalau korang bukan pengemar drama2 mereka diTivi.ada time yg rasa mcm kebiasaan..walau x byk sgt mcm ~ camera angle,tempat shooting dan lagi,dialog gaduh-gaduh ni mcam biasa je  dengar. Biasa?perghh,kantoi mcm ak lak yg selalu tgk.TIpu la klau dulu tak tengok sembilu.
Kalau bukan aku,makcik aku,takpon nenek aku..Time mkan mlm tu,terlayan la jugak.
Liyana Jasmay er make up kekadang ganggu kosentrasi.xcheck la sponsor make up maybeline atau bukan.
sbb die kan cute..contoh,time rushing g hospital sempat pulak bubuh eyeshadow yg matching ngan tudung.PELIK bukan?benda kecil2 sebegini ganggu mood aku.
PLUS lg suka watak die dalam histeria atau niyang rapik d movie.

Puas hati sbb hantu banyak.Tu la sbb utama nk tengok cite hantu kan?
tak perlu 3D sbb muka hantu penuh satu skrin.Tkujat-kujat la memula.scene terkejut hantu datang dari belakang wat sekali dua cukup kot.if lebey mcm ketandusan idea.

sinikal er,ramai gak yg gelak time hantu asik kuar.mereka gembira mungkin sebab rasa berbaloi tgk hantu d wayang...

story psal khurafat ak teringin makan roti cheese khulafa.nyummy,jauh er nk g sek 7~sob3...
p/s>intro:padan muka aku kena type blk..tadi gatal tulis kat notepad..ttiba time nk CTRL+A   tersilap tekan n trus ilang smua

Monday, January 10, 2011

hanya ini

begitu banyak orang yang lega
Setelah putus asa mendera,
bagitu banyak pula yang berbahagia,
setelah dia putus asa,
Siapa pun yang berprasangka baik
Kepada pemilik 'Arasy
Maka ia akan memetik buah manis
Ditepi sungai yang jernih
(la tahzan-1,page 184)



Biarkan lah segala sesuatu
Mengalir seirama taqdir,
Jangan sekali-kali kau tidur,
Kecuali tetap waspada,
Saat kau kerdipkan matamu,kau akan tecengang
ternyata Allah telah mengubah keadaan.




So, verily, with every difficulty, there is relief,Verily, with every difficulty there is relief.
(5-6;surah al-inshirah)

Sunday, January 9, 2011

sunday blues

Hepy SUNDAY morning...
ahahaha~
Rasa nk post something yang buley menceriakan hari ku ni.
selalu post psal emosi aku yang tak keruan.rasa xbest lak...
 weekend ni utk family memandangkan semua rakan-rakan dh ada planning sndiri.
semalam birthday ziQa yang ke-17 kot (yela kan Sebab die nak amek spm tahun ni) ~waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah,adik ak dh besar!
picture xde byak..giler xmeriah..bwk cup cake yang akak ak bikin mlm sebelum tu.
          ini bukan ziQa...
picture mee kari n mee sup ni amek smlm time singgah mkan kat  RnR(aku baru tau meaning RnR semenjak antar adik ak g skolah kat perak ni)
Tapi lupe nama tempat er..yang pasti lepas RnR behrang and sebelum rawang.
mee kari ni ada menda alah nipis yg slalu mkan kalau beli yong tao foo..rasa curry len sket.macam kari ikan kot.tak tau la nak describe lebey2...nanti rajin ak bungkus bg kawan2 makan lak.



mee sup pon buley la nk kasih perabih licin.Diorang guna ayam potong dari nasi ayam er ayam.
sangat hayam la....

nama kedai ni mee kari zul katib kot...picture terpaksa dicrop kan sebab wajah yg mcm bom nk meletop n tak dapat terima kenyataan rupe diri sebegitu.(terbalik akibat ting tong)

wokeh,diet aku dah out skang...mlm td pon makcik ak dh hidang ikan patin msak tempoyak ngn ikan pekasam...demmmm,type ni pon rs nak meleleh ayer liur.


playlist;movie Gridiron Gang ...cite psal teenage yang kat Juvenal dapat chances from their counselor utk men football n prove diorang ler wat something good in their life.skang tgk movie pon nk touching2 er...dedulu agak tak suka Dwayne Johnson a.k.a the rock tp since tgk tooth fairy rs cam he capable bwk watak sbegitu...

Saturday, January 8, 2011

here we go again~

" Ia cuma mengambil masa seminit untuk jatuh hati pada seseorang,
1 jam untuk mENYUKAI seseorang,
1 hari untuk meNyinTAI seseorang,tetapi
ia mengambil masa SEPANJAnG HiDuP untuk 
meLuPakan seseorang......."

ak baru berazam xnak online smpai ahad.konon2 type2 ni esok br nk post..

tp gatal gak nk post ari ni.lpas 3hr bpikir n bpikir...
makin ak pikir..makin ak nk lari dr kenyataan datang dari ayat penyata dalam jiwa aku yg agak mrepek ni.

barelly know what I should do...

cause literally,Confession seem to Be~~herm,
 not A very good IdEa!

the last time I remember telling the truth about my feeling.it DID NOT end up good.

 only get THING WORST.
Turn up, It easier for us being enemy rather try to act friendly.
at first,He gave me hope,did make me happy TAPI,when the truth come out.The whole drama started and it like ripping us apart.
end of THAT lousy story.yup,mr X yg sharus er idup bahgia skang stelah kick out aku dari idup die yg mcm bagus sgt n guess what?
I don't give a damn care about him anymore.
pada mereka yg prnah baca probably akan muntah ijau bila ingat.
I totally forget about him,my stupid crush/feeling dat I used to have~
and move on with my lonely world again.dah lama aku bye2 kan cite bodoh yg dulu... saje ingat kan kekonon nak jadi pengajaran utk ari ni...tp~
I always trap with my own feeling.
and now,I hate to think that i'll be doing the same mistake again.
in fact i never believe I'm good enough to be someone lover.
or anyone~ especially someone dat I Do have feeling for him.so,aku xde la selalu berharap/prepare for any of that.

And yupsss,I did not expect to fall in love again.seriously??dalam waktu begini?should I care bout something else.

I did make some promise to myself untuk 'pergi' without hv to worry about 'someone' who I left  back here.tapi,aku tak boleh refuse .
I just feel it and hardly to deny it.

few months ni.'It' happen  tough I never asked for it.

At first I only want to hv some fun and create a good memory before I start my new life at QLD.
yang aku sndiri tak pasti ape kah ghupe er nanti~
Dan sekarang,
it absolutely NO FUN,when few weeks back I started to hurt some of my friend's feeling atas sbb musabab yg tidak bernas.
kitaorg xpnah gaduh psal laki atau berkaitan  opposite gender.
sebab taste kitaorg yg absoulety tak sama.dan ak x mungkin suka org yg die suka.NOkHTAh!

and now I even hurt my own true feeling.
sebab aku maseh pembodoh yg x reti nak belajar dari kesilapan.
menyukai ssorang diwaktu yg agak tidak seswai with someone yg barely know me.
atau barely want to know me.

'maybe we need more time...
maybe we don't really know each other well
maybe we are rushing into it..
maybe I'm not good enough for you...'

those r some thought yang make thing impossible.
alasan yg tetap akan jadi alasan.
the truth is...MAYBE~it never happen~mungkin dia tak akan rasa apa yg aku rasa.

how much time do we need?
how well do you need to know about me?
how slow do u want me to go.
how should I change to make thing possible for us?

the TRUTH always appear in UGLY form...ALWAYS!
but
will you still love the UGLY faces that you'll be seeing 
after that?
will you able to handle the obstacle you hv to face in future?
will you stay believe there always hope after storm coming?

i just feel,it seem worthless to try more if he didn't
 show some effort to know me..

if only he have the same spark like i did
if it could be much easier for us after telling how I feel
if I would stay the same tough he can't love me back.
if only I know what I could do to make him happy the most~
i'll do, even if that thing could make my heart hurt the most...
if and if....tapi rasa er chances sgt tipis.


between giving up and letting go...
aku masih keliru nak beza kan dua term ni.
nak apply dlam situasi skang ni.
should I letting go this feeling.put in the box/bottle and let it flow through the sea.
should I tight it at a kite and let it blow with the wind?

selalu sangat merasa kehilangan orang yang penting dalam hidup.
(makin tak tau hargai mereka yg hadir dlam waktu yang malang)
keep happening in my life but it never get easier for me.even the time passing by,year by year.
the sorrow never really end.

mengarut er aku skang ni.supposely aku pikir psal email visa,transporting kat sna,
brang nk packing.and other thing...
oh,GOd!
help me not to neglect my responsibilty towards my dream but
yet~ I still need love in my life..
glups...glupss...sambung minum ayer pisang+susu+tomato....arghhhhhh...pergi la jauh-jauh wahai 7kg!!!

"jangan pAndAnG pada keCaNtikan kerana boleh jadi ia pALsu,
 jandan kejar akan keMEwaHan kerana ia akan susut...."

Saturday, January 1, 2011

01012011

starting new year dgn ketaKbestan.
Bgun lmbat.TIdo flat giler.kul9 baru bangun...
mmg dah rasa nak mencarut kat diri sndiri.
Msg my fren yg suppose gerak sekali.Dorang baru nak mandi.LEga sat.packing hadiah utk BBQ kat ulu yam sat lg.
Tunggu dorang balas...Senyap.confius kenapa lma sangat.Last2 call gtau dah nak gerak.
time call n nak kuar parking...Demmmmm~ada canopy baru nak nek kat jalan dekat rumah.kena guna opposite direction.
On the way nak fetch fren.Perasan mcm ada perayaan something kat batu caves..APelak terjadi~nampak mcm rmai org.
Smpai batu caves.HE actually dah gerak.n make me lost my temper..end up shouting and throw my tantrum at him.Like badly crazy women who actually having emotional problem due to the nearest time of menstruation process.Bad timing!SOrRy mate~
Conclude the drama as miscommunication among each other.
Make up bad relation with my friend who lately having "perang dingin"
Not really an enjoyable moment of the day.Didn't bring my jeans and have to wait for my mum which still in KLIA at time I'm on my way home.
coverage problem~smpai kat empangan baru masuk msg ibu.saying kunci rumah tercicir kat gate.
arghhhhh,cdit xde.mekaseh la kak sam kasi pinjam phone....tensi!
x suka lepak lama2 kat  tempat aku campak "bubuh" kat situ...sob3~ rindu kekura ku....
klau aku still bela..mesti dah besar..hurmmm~

so tunggu kat petronas mcD....tunggu n tunggu...ngantok giler nie...last2 decide g drive thru.
owhhhh lupe,I end up just lepaking dlam keta sebelum tu.malu je nk g masuk mcD ngn sluar biru.
dah beli baru niat nak g lepak kat taman layang2....ibu call kate dah smpai umah.CISSSSSS!
penat guwe beli ini orea berries...tapi sangat sedap~ lupe nak snapping..tp mmg sedap.

" nak mcflury berries..."
"yang orea berries yerr..."
"nak yang berries la...."
bila dapat2 mmg ada oreo campur berries..hahaha,mana ar tau.ad 2 picture kat drive thru er menu...
aku yg mamai2 ni memg ingat satu mcflurry oreo and satu lg berries jer...
TETAPI,ya ampun,sungguh nikmat!
wahahaha~

rasa menu drive thru sgt kedekut nak letak picture.
pastu dari smlm ak g mcD waiter mcm xpham ak ckap ape.

Aku rasa mcm aku order dgn bace balik menu by referring gambo yang aku bkenan.
Mcam tadi r.die tulis kat menu.Prosperity mcFizz.
tp yang amek order mcm confius ngn order aku.
"nak proseperity mcFIzz medium yer..."
"nak berger shaja atau dengan air?"
"HUH??? nak yang air....mean~ yang rm3.55"
"owhhhh~oren mcFizz...."
okey nyah,dengan nada menyampah nak cakap ngn aku.saket hati la tue....lantak la,asal ak kenyang~

Lol..mane ak tau itu oren..xtulis...kalau mangga pon ak xtau kan....hahaha,padahal baru mlm td makan.
saje nak bg alasan~
mmg weng nak order drive thru..saket hati kdg2...
dah magrib xbuleh tido..takot makin weng.so end up merapu2....
pas magrib ak nk tido smpai esok..hahaha~
I'M MANIAC FOR TODAY.