Wednesday, July 13, 2011

here we go again~

" Ia cuma mengambil masa seminit untuk jatuh hati pada seseorang,
1 jam untuk mENYUKAI seseorang,
1 hari untuk meNyinTAI seseorang,tetapi
ia mengambil masa SEPANJAnG HiDuP untuk 
meLuPakan seseorang......."

ak baru berazam xnak online smpai ahad.konon2 type2 ni esok br nk post..
tp gatal gak nk post ari ni.lpas 3hr bpikir n bpikir...
makin ak pikir..makin ak nk lari dr kenyataan datang dari ayat penyata dalam jiwa aku yg agak mrepek ni.

barelly know what I should do...
cause literally,Confession seem to Be~~herm,
 not A very good IdEa!

the last time I remember telling the truth about my DID NOT end up good.
 only get THING WORST.
Turn up, It easier for us being enemy rather try to act friendly.
at first,He gave me hope,did make me happy TAPI,when the truth come out.The whole drama started and it like ripping us apart.
end of THAT lousy story.yup,mr X yg sharus er idup bahgia skang stelah kick out aku dari idup die yg mcm bagus sgt n guess what?
I don't give a damn care about him anymore.
pada mereka yg prnah baca probably akan muntah ijau bila ingat.
I totally forget about him,my stupid crush/feeling dat I used to have~
and move on with my lonely world again.dah lama aku bye2 kan cite bodoh yg dulu... saje ingat kan kekonon nak jadi pengajaran utk ari
I always trap with my own feeling.
and now,I hate to think that i'll be doing the same mistake again.
in fact i never believe I'm good enough to be someone lover.
or anyone~ especially someone dat I Do have feeling for,aku xde la selalu berharap/prepare for any of that.

And yupsss,I did not expect to fall in love again.seriously??dalam waktu begini?should I care bout something else.
I did make some promise to myself untuk 'pergi' without hv to worry about 'someone' who I left  back here.tapi,aku tak boleh refuse .
I just feel it and hardly to deny it.

few months ni.'It' happen  tough I never asked for it.
At first I only want to hv some fun and create a good memory before I start my new life at QLD.
yang aku sndiri tak pasti ape kah ghupe er nanti~
Dan sekarang,
it absolutely NO FUN,when few weeks back I started to hurt jeda's feeling atas sbb musabab yg tidak bernas.
kitaorg xpnah gaduh psal laki atau berkaitan  opposite gender.
sebab taste kitaorg yg absoulety tak sama.dan ak x mungkin suka org yg die suka.NOkHTAh!

and now I even hurt my own true feeling.
sebab aku maseh pembodoh yg x reti nak belajar dari kesilapan.
menyukai ssorang diwaktu yg agak tidak seswai with someone yg barely know me.
atau barely want to know me.

'maybe we need more time...
maybe we don't really know each other well
maybe we are rushing into it..
maybe I'm not good enough for you...'

those r some thought yang make thing impossible.
alasan yg tetap akan jadi alasan.
the truth is...MAYBE~it never happen~mungkin dia tak akan rasa apa yg aku rasa.

how much time do we need?
how well do you need to know about me?
how slow do u want me to go.
how should I change to make thing possible for us?

the TRUTH always appear in UGLY form...ALWAYS!
will you still love the UGLY faces that you'll be seeing 
after that?
will you able to handle the obstacle you hv to face in future?
will you stay believe there always hope after storm coming?

i just feel,it seem worthless to try more if he didn't
 show some effort to know me..

if only he have the same spark like i did
if it could be much easier for us after telling how I feel
if I would stay the same tough he can't love me back.
if only I know what I could do to make him happy the most~
i'll do, even if that thing could make my heart hurt the most...
if and if....tapi rasa er chances sgt tipis.

between giving up and letting go...
aku masih keliru nak beza kan dua term ni.
nak apply dlam situasi skang ni.
should I letting go this feeling.put in the box/bottle and let it flow through the sea.
should I tight it at a kite and let it blow with the wind?

selalu sangat merasa kehilangan orang yang penting dalam hidup.
(makin tak tau hargai mereka yg hadir dlam waktu yang malang)
keep happening in my life but it never get easier for me.even the time passing by,year by year.
the sorrow never really end.

mengarut er aku skang ni.supposely aku pikir psal email visa,transporting kat sna,
brang nk packing.and other thing...
help me not to neglect my responsibilty towards my dream but
yet~ I still need love in my life..
glups...glupss...sambung minum ayer pisang+susu+tomato....arghhhhhh...pergi la jauh-jauh wahai 7kg!!!

"jangan pAndAnG pada keCaNtikan kerana boleh jadi ia pALsu,
 jandan kejar akan keMEwaHan kerana ia akan susut...."