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Friday, December 31, 2010

It just hurt(entri tlebey emo)

"In the name of God, most Gracious, most Compassionate".


I would LOVe to keep everything that hurting me to my past.
Forgive and forgetting what might make me cry.
 literally I'm not good on doing those kind of thing.
Yeah,I'm the person who able to hold grudge for a long time.
That what my mom told me when we have a fight.
Maybe it just an excuse for her bcause forgetting thing she promised to me before.
But this isn't about my mom....
This is more to some fragile relation we build and bounding that we hope will last forever...
I'm not good telling people story.Plotting semua larik bersepahan.
Yeah,that one of my weakness.Ada ke orang kat dunia ni yang xda kelemahan?

Everyone does..But some people keep telling themselves.They can't overcome the fear.
I did sometime too...I've done a lot of mistake on my past. Terlalu banyak dan tak terhitung.
There are some mistake I wish I never did.Dan bila ingat,I can't barely hold the tears.


Tapi ada orang yg terlalu banyak mengira kelemahan diri sendiri...dan terlupa bersyukur/berterima kasih atas rahmat yg Tuhan beri..Tak nampak kasih sayang dan keikhlasan orang sekeliling.Perlu ke nak compare dgn orang lain atas nasib diri?
Klau orang lebih dari kita,kita rasa rendah diri.Klau ada orang lebih lemah/kurang bernasib baik baru kita nak mula bersyukur?


I feel like giving up on this people sometime...
Tapi,Tuhan pun tak pernah putus asa atas kat manusia.Sedangkan hari-hari kita buat dosa yang berganda.
BUT again,I'm only human.. Cuba bagi orang lain harapan walau diri sendiri terkapai-kapai.
I failed to stand strong...Ada sampai tahap yg ak sangat lemah nak berdiri balik...
Rasa ikhlas yang hilang.Rasa menyesal yang datang menganti.Tak mudah nak jadi kawan yang baik.Sedangkan diri sendiri xcukup teguh pendirian.
I've no one to turn to when I'm in deeply sorrow..
Keras hati kdg2 bila time emosi.will asking people for an advice but usually already knew what must hv done.
Bak kata enun,
"kau ni kena enter anger management class untuk belajar bersabar."
Probably I should~
dan akey said:"let the time pass by.Tak payah pikir sangat.keep the distance.Jangan complicated kan masalah. try je la kot baik biase2.no need to b soo close with someone who don't really appreciate you.
for old time sake.Relation made up from 2 side er understanding"
I don't really make a lot of friend.Probably I'm not really a good person dat people like to call friend.

But I still glad to have some of them who could guide me when I'm in the dark.
 I
Untuk mereka yg x rasa aku harus dihargai.Maybe ak harus berterima kaseh atas ke'baek'kan yg korang beri..
Mungkin ak mmg kecik hati kdg2 dgn korang.sbb hati ak x sebesar hati korang yg suci lg murni.
Aku x kan faham ape yg ada dlm otak korang.klau korang x bgtau.
I can't read mind.I'm not even a sweet talker darling~I'm just me who try to make my shallow lil heart fulfill with happiness after tears that I pour during my lonely time. 
aku  xpndai bg ayat2 manis thap diabetes to make u feel good bout urself.
ak xpndai nk puji/angkat2 org ni..sbb ak sndri susah nk rs bangga dgn diri sndri.Proven,ak rarely nk tgk chermin if nk kuar umah dlm keadaan sgera.atau g ladies time rushing2 kat mall.sbb sdar mmg comot.bila tgk cermin akan rs xpuas   ati n hv lot of dissapointment..
so I choose to avoid eye to eye ngn diri ak dlm cermin tlalu kerap..but when I did.akan amek ms agak lma.n ak buleh tukar smpai 4 baju sbb xconfident dgn bdan sndiri~
aku pon manusia lemah mcm org len.Tapi ak xhrap org dpt naseb yg sma dgn aku..lg2 when U call her ur bestfriend,bila org tu try to make u happy but It seem easy for U to make assumption like she nvr understand u.
YEah,I knew u well enough.Well enough untuk tak terus menipu n keep u in the dark.I knew ur pain and sorrow but I just need u to b strong.

"we' saw how ur other 'precious' friends  treat u.the hypocrisy that we observe sometime make we wanna throw out.

but I just being myself and make u realize life won't be dat sweet like ur  fantasy.but I notice how YOU rather be in a dream than being realistic.
so I let you being at place where YOu like to be...LEt the good memories go.sbb menghargai diri aku mungkin susah utk kamo.mungkin sgt tipis utk kau lihat.

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