hilang

kadang-kadang kita terasa seolah-olah doa kita terlalu pendek

adakala solat trasa skejap cuma..sedangkan disaat itu baru kita rasa dekat...

Ada waktu yang kita harap sujud ini moga jadi yang terakhir...

kerana kita takut mungkin kita akan lalai dan kembali melupakan tempat sujud ini...

damai itu bukan terletak di tempat jauh tidak tersampai..

Adakala ia teramat dekat disisi tapi kita terus nafikan-Nya.

Kita rasa hilang sedang yg sebenar disitu tempat paling tepat untuk kita rasa dekat.

SEdangkan waktu itu yang terbaik untuk kita rasa teramat syukur atas smua diberi.

imbas kembali ( pakcik steward bapok..aku tak suka kau!)

bukan nak flashback smpai 20/30 tahun lepas...

setakat 3 minggu yang lepas..selalu motif er nak mendelete picture dalam ipod je..

yelah,giga bit sngat semput nk simpan byk pic...lg2 baru ilang pendrive tok kali ke brape puloh ontah..

so, nak gak la letak kat blog ni..kalau letak kat fb.rs cam lem sss lark~

(~~~terasa nak guna "I" mcm poyo kn?~~~ahaahaha

ttiba bace blk rasa nk muntah...)

 cite ni seolah-olah perangai org brisbane yg sebok wat konsert kumpul dana untuk mangsa flood mlm tadi.location kat bwh umah ni lak...padahai org tgh risau ngn tsunami kat jepun.

scary tgk berita..teringin nk dok bwh ketiak ibu skang..gedik,takpnah ibu nak lyan diri ni bgitu...

nvr be me in the family.

sebelum flight tu we all dh gerak awal...mcm kul 5pg kot bgun...hadoi..tido dh la lmbt...
sempat lak nk last dinner with whole family kat area sri gombak...pic sgt unclear.xbest nk share.

a day before I gedik kan nak nangis2 mcm hape....pastu myesal asik kena repacking beg.

pastu tgk muka I pagi2..cm sembam.2x double tembab dr bese.

ibu x kasik bwk present jed_nuney.takot kena rip off

I bersunguh borak ngn para nenek2.lg2 nenek jeda...
ingat nenek I je nangis..nenek jeda lg sadis sore er menahan sebak..ler tbayang taw wajah nenek2 itew tgh nangis..tp I giler terasa nak gelak.(kwaja!)

knapa muke mreka sgt hepy jumpa daku for d last time?

okey fine,ni cite msa flight dtg sni..

one of reason delay story ni bcause of flight mas yg delay gak...mcm hram jah~

I nyer la kelam kekabut sbb trasa antara yg lmbat msuk dlm flight..

kena sound ngn steward bapok..

"bwk gitar ni bler men jazz ke..xbler men jazz wat pe sebok2 bwk gitar"

dlm hati je ar::: ehhh bapok~smua men gitar sbb nk blajar jazz ke?...no offense to jazz lover...since my lecture pon teaching history in jazz..what??do i really pursue study for engineering course? 

rupe er ada passenger yg cancel flight..so kena bwk kluar luggage dorang..pastu ada msalah teknikal..

owh,I dh bhrap dpt mkan pape alas perot..sbb before tu just mkn sandwich..tp perot I mcm xde rs ape mkan tu..time nk kuar mmg xmkan ape..still sebok men unpacking brang.

(yeeeee uolls~unpacking okeh!skang ni hidup serba tak lengkap..nak beli pon rs bdosa mbazir..tak hingat I er mbazir sdekah kat tokey karoke dlu~ skang mmg jimat gler okeh)

lmbat wey serve food..mcm kul 1 baru start bg sumbat nasi lemak.mula2 tempting.. dlm ati wat ayat sedeh..
"probably this will b the last nasi lemak i'll be eating dlm radar Mlaysia ni..."

(tp gile tipu,lepas smingu dh mkan nasi lemak blk..bwhahaha)

tapi mmg sedap pon..just perot ni xler accept.sedeh!

 lama x nek flight MAS.last nek time g Langkawi..sekolah rendah time yg tgh free hair~ rmbut style whitney houstan time tu...tu tak smpat abis kan air oren dh smpai.

herk?

Tak brape suka sgt nek mas lg2 g overC probably cam x syiok lak tgk dorg ni tuang2 wine...

kenapa Mas slalu dpt applause sbb service? confius ar...tp makanan emirates dlu lg syiok..ler mintak air pepsi satu tin..yg ni die tuang ngn ice...(kdekut!).service on flight mmg takler demand lbey2~

nek ekonomi je kan..jgn la nk hrap lebey2...nek lah airasia..confirm tak kcewa sbb service tu staraf ngn bayaran...

apesal I kutuk mas ni?owh,sbb kan pening kepala..dah msuk angin

mkan sambal(smbung sakit 2,3 hari lak tu)..patot er ada toilet dkat ngn seat I.
after 30 minit beredar dr tanah ayer..ada tampal notis not in service!fark it....

 tpaksa tgolek2 bjalan g kat blakang..takpernaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah la mabuk dlm flit..shits okeh..

org sblah I siap terefek sbb burping terribly plus ventilation system also sux too...

she thought I was vomitting inside the paper bag.but,I just pretend cause I can't really vomit inside that small bag..when I step out from toilet.mmg panjang gile Q.

byg kan la..international flight ada 2 je toilet..DUA AJE...ko giler ke??klau smua keracunan makanan cm I...ape jadiks?

lagi satu I cam pening sbb most of seat kat section tu berkaler warna warni..wadefak wey....

sumpah pening bertambah serabut...kaler oren,biru,hijau,ooooooooooooooooooowh please!

entertainment pon sgt mgecewakan wey...tak dpt la tivi dpn seat.

time tunggu luggage pon ada lg rupe er tserempak ngn steward bapok tua tu...

bukan nak maki sbb dia awww atau berumur..tp mmg myirapss ngn prangai die

kali ni die ngn geng stewardess tlg gelak2 kat I boley...

ayat die..

'dtg sni nak study ke nak men gitar...

amek engineering...tp nak men gitar..bila nak belajar er...'


ape msalah mereka dgn gitar?bukan ak bwk cello ke piano ke..revolver ke..opsss~

(ntah bila die check my detail..probably cause guna student grad mas+ibu redeem enrich point....)

kate2 terakhir die "okey la tipah gudluck yer..."

lenkali kena cuba bergaya bgini agar yg dtanye..brand ape spender tu..

g mati ar ko...sgt tak bekenan sambil sengeh2 simpul rs nk maki..perot maseh tercocok pedih..

 it could be a gastric.I didn't check at all.

hello pakcik..skang ni ari2  ada msa men gitar..

padahal projek tak start lg buat ni...pitamss

bila sampai tu sgt lega sbb kastam bek aje...

hanjing tu pon takdelah keji.. rs nk pelok aje..

sbnar er klau tak nk kena dog tu ceom2..declare aje food stuff...

i just remember he telling me like; 

"I thought tesco are brand from england"

"yahhh,we have a lot at Selayang M'sia"

shame,mmg suka borong brg tesco tau..kat sni borong homebrand lak...LoL,cheapskate

tu je kot nk cite..tak best kan...okey sket la dari  karot marut psal hati yg dilanda tsunami..

mungkin

mungkin...

antara perkara yang menyakitkan...

bila kita tak dapat nak rasa perasaan marah atau sakit hati...

bila yang buat pekara tu adalah orang yg kita 'care'..

We not able to hate him...even we want to..

We not able to feel angry even how bad we have cry

though it hurt when he rip our heart apart...

but we can't be mad at him...

because we just don't...

kerana aku bukan siapa2 untuk mrasa marah atau bengang...

kerana aku hanya diriku ;mencarik langit putih dalam kehitaman yg  tcorak.

I rather took all the blame...

feel guilty for having the feeling I have...

try to walk out of his life but don't have enough courage to do so..

the only thing I have is

Tawakal...I want him to be happy 

healthy more then I do...

and he meet his soulmate.

which will nvr be me..

I hope one day..I be able to forgive myself for not being a good human being.

and being so ridiculous in my need and my dream.for taking a black path bfore I found the right one.. 

Lifehouse - You And Me

all of the things that I want to say
just aren't coming out right
I'm tripping inwards

You've got my head spinning
I don't know where to go from here

just don't really wanna forget this song...as long as I can

26 is just a number...

sebenar er m'target total wish bday tahun ni less dari Dua PuLoh

sedar diri tak glamer....so,bila ttiba time birthday ramai org wish terasa cam confius la jugak kan~

here the list go..(best er ler wat list!!)

Plus jeda; takde er adiah2 misteri ni..
atau pertandingan itew and ini...

nanti tak ikhlas buley...hahaha,gampang je alasan nk ngelat....

start with sms/text msg;

I actually 'ON' my celcom this noon.since there no msg coming in after several hours..so,I just change it back to Lebara.klau msg after that like sooo not counting in!

1) My Lovely mummmieeeh (erghhhh,it does not sound rit huh?)

    Mrs Ibrahim a.k.a IBu ku...serius I read her msg first at moment I woke up this morning...sweet giler!

2) Kak Long (jahat gile ak tak wish time bday die aritu)

3) Jeda (bday aku die lak dapat mkan kat hilton-jeles wokey)

4) Pezarol ngongeng...(aku tak letak nama ko dlm 1st sbb ko wish semlm;rs tak bererti skit)

tak pasti ni adiah sbb aku smbung study atau adiah bday.dah lama bukak..ari ni baru start letak atas meja~

here goes the facebookers ;

5)faraheda (rasa bersalah gile last year she not able to celebrate birthday together cause of some conflict)

6)Enun (berani ilang kn video besday ak bg die)

7)Amy (dua kali dia wish..Terharu!kecian die kna exam)

8)Nazlina

9)Dzarina (ehhh,lupe nk letak nama die kat rank atas =P)

10) Icad (first time celebrate bday die last year..jeles gile ngn org yg bday ujung2 tahun ni)

11) Mawaddah Alias (I think I still hv bookmark dibikin sndiri she gave bfore aku transfer ke sMTbP)

12) aki (budak busuk = teman seperot = teman mcari makan = aku suka carik mkan ngn die)

13) Liah  (last 2 years we celebrating bday together..tak rapat sgt tp my humble sympathy for her sbb  ayah dia baru je meninggal few months ago)

14) siti BJ (aku baru teringat die sama bday ngn aku..hahaa)

15)Amalina (spupu ejun = erm,motif aku?)

16)ainur fateha

17)nasren honey(rs glamer die wish...haha)

18) nur faizatul (ak x sure die auto wish ke ape..fb ni pelik2...sbb die tak pnah lak interact ngn ak kat fb)

19) Casper

20)maYd

21)meady

22)Fuad

23) Bapak 

24) Nina

25 ) CTN (she older few hours then me...besfren first time msuk maahad..kipas susah mati SRK)

26)syahira rahmat

and whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat??

kekaseh baru jeda

26 wishes sudah dikira...well,it just a number~

eh,itu bukan umur ku...yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaw!

BUT,most important is thought

mwah..mwah..cayang cemua er...(bwek hekhek,makin kertu makin gediks lak) 

mampu nak pelok 26 orang camni? chop dok luar skali...

why owh why

3 things I did after try (yes!TRY) to wake up after few of my alarm clock snoozing like several times.don't even try to take a shower or even start my study but i figure out that;

crème fraîche = sour cream and 

google can't googling ; "?"

why today is monday...y?

and now...I slurp my last night orange juice from my mug..it still feel like yesterday....but it not...

the fact I hv class this evening...

and don't even read any single thing I should read....

annoying.

if I didn't start it now...i'll b regretting it soon....

but 

what do you want to be?

time kecik2 dulu cikgu tanye nak jadi ape...jwapan biasa dengar
1)doctor
2)lawyer
3)nurse
4)jurutera
5)arkitek
6)polis,ahli bomba smua
7) cikgu...

skang ni ak dah ada bachelor in electrical engineer and doing master in management in engineer..

I was in the class who part of my class already professional which can be a project manager or an engineer and sitting next to an architect....(mostly have their degree on infrastructure kind of field...)

AND
when some lecture who teaching leadership , negotiation and communication
asking ME what I wanna be?and I was like out of my mind and just answer....
."huh?"
."ME?"
.............
"an Engineer~"


wadefak am I doing in that class if I wanna be an engineer?
I don't want to be just and engineer...I should probably answer to be a project manager maybe.I don't know.but I really hate my answer.
I really like to bite my tongue after I say it...

the respond?
my lecturer start telling some story of someone who have slow mind...and at the end he become someone unexpected to be...maybe
(I don't really remember the story bcause I keep cursing myself while he telling this story)
but after that he telling another story some other guy who have a worship of become a leader.
who can talk and walk like a leader....can give a very motivating speech and already pointed to be a vice president and end up just want to stay at his home town and doing thing he like.

did he mean to relate the story to me?I just feel dumb enough.
not because I feel like I can be something better then an engineer.but because I NEVER EVER FEEL LIKE BEING AN ENGINEER since forever...

I just trap in something that I don't really know...and try to change direction but can't find my path...
maybe someday I really end up just being an engineer and people might ask me wadehal u doing ur master for??herm~

OKEH,post sblum ni aku tak tau pehal xler tgk.penat dah ak download 2/3 kali.tp mcm gagal je...so ak dh mlas..korang guna ar imaginasi...haha

when some lecture who teaching leadership and the
(nampak sgt aku salah copy paste ayat ni...pastu ak xnak delete..lg nk tambah ayat aku..nk kasi korang pening)