Penat

if this mean nothing 

why I feel hurt?

Why I'm scared while thinking 'bout how it could be

If it hard for you~

I'm exhausting too...

Wish somewhere and somehow...

If I could lay someplace and forget my past with burden I'm carry on.

In place where I see your eyes....

 where I careless about the next step.

Those moment I wanna stay still..

Wish I able to stop the time that I'm still laughing with you...

Due to happiness pop out from my heart.....

At time my mind singing a song that I always want to hear....

42643

Kurang Bijak

Agak kurang bijak aku nak mula berbicara benda yang x pasti.
Ada benda yang kadang-kadang kita nak berhenti agar esok luka itu akan pulih...
Ada jua yang buat diri mahu berlari sejauh-jauh nya....
agar yang pahit dapat ditinggalkan berlalu pergi...

Posisi ketika ini?
Hanya akur.dan befikir...
Siapa yang bakal dikhianati?
Untuk apa harus kufahami?

Andai asal sebuah kanvas hitam.....
Walau telah kucuba warnai jingga...
Ia masih kekal hitam.....Dan kucelup merah.....
Hitam nya masih pekat....
Menyekat segala impian diatas sebuah kegelapan taman impian...

kek Tak Jadi

kekonon nk try oven baru kuar kotak...
sbb kekonon xreti guna m.wave yg canggih byk butang

hahahaa...
sadis,xjadik kek cheese kali ni....
last time ikot receipe classic cheese cake...
cepat je abes....
bau pon best...
kali ni konon2 nk wat japanese cheese cake...
tp bila tgk sukatan ikot gram2..trus mereng kpala....
benci gile nk measure penimbang....kat lab dlu pon slalu je mereng bacaan...

pastu cheese philedaphia(kot) ler sold out tadik..
wakakaka...ak dh la xpro...nk bedal je cheese xtau jenama ape seperti diatas

POST NI AKIBAT RASA MERENG....


dan hasil er kcewa bcampur duka...
xlalu nk mkan..mcm puding pon ade....
waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa~nangis

NIE sewaktu...selepas xde la hina sgt rupa er...tp kcewa rasa er...mcm puding..

Deep inside: 
Have you ever wish u only telling a lie so the story won't be so dramatic and rip back your heart?
Have you really feel like you telling 'bout your bad dreams but those are past you hv step into~


Am I trying to gain sympathy by showing my scar?
Or maybe I just want someone to really see me as I am...
Cause I find it hard....and trully hurt me back....
I regret it when I open my old book...
Cause it not worth to let it linger on my memory~


sometime you just cry so hard by yourself...
Hope everything will go...past like the wind...
You can;t tell no one bout it....It hurt you so much
You can share it...cause the pain just too real...
and most important...you hate it when people told you to let it go...
you know friends will say they be there for you...
Be strong and face the future...forget the past...you know everything they want to tell you..
So,you just don;t want to hear those thing anymore...
Cause you just want to throw everything bout it away~far far away....
and smile just like yesterday....

Is this my Dream?

Engineering: where the noble, semi-skilled laborers execute the vision of those 

who think and dream. Hello, Oompa Loompas of science!

Jim Parsons as Sheldon Cooper

Froggie list

                                    roses tak wangi unfortunately ak jd fan for this flower.
                            (owhh,ni rupe er feeling dpt bunga....wink*)


1st katak-
kaklong; respon?sweeet er dapat adiah konvo
time:konvo diploma...
2nd katak-
syiah (Tp amin beli).
time:exactly time kuar dr dewan.degree
respon? erm,xpe la kenit je...mcm syiah gak...

3rd katak
 dari kengkwan...
respon? tergamam tgk dr jauh~
do i have to kiss the frog so it can turn to be some kind of prince charming?
I dunno..I wouldn't like to try it though.
time: on d way nk amek pic studio

syko lak ak ngn katak skang ni...

14 years ago,aku slalu men ngn jiran depan umah.Dina amira and Dinah athira...well,they both quite adorable...but that is not my point here...
one of thing that we used to play.hermmm,
depan umah dorang ada kolam kecik...and I day we figure out some small creature dat can swim and we tot it  some kind of fish,we let it swim.play with those little thing until one day we realize it can turn to b a frog..eyuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu~

Semalam time blk mimi tunggu depan gate...sweet er mimi....ntah mane mak mimi gi..cian die...
n Mimi bukan katak!!Mimi anak kucing bukan milik ak...tp suka dok dpan umah...
n aku suka sbb MImi dapat hapuskan imej buruk ak tentang bnda ijau...and the next day ada momo lak...cute sgt...

they both adorable too...2 little kitty that totally opposite colour but still kawaaaai!
I hope I can keep them as my pet..but that too impossible since k.long will b back next month..
`then,there will b no more mimi and momo around the house anymore... =,(

                                                    momo cuba kluar dr bakul(cute!)

something to remember

Usai dah convocation y ke2 smlm...
Rancangan Tuhan slalu er unexpected....I'm the one who don't bother and decided not to go for my convocation day but at the end my sister convocation day will be postpone due to d bad weather at her place...
Bradford winter teruk...scary er...baru awal november...it coming early then last time I were day.GLobAL warMing r such horrible thing you could imagine....and what bout the rest you couldn't?
Instead,my mom already there just to attend the ceremony by herself and ziqah...
but end up with disappointment....
Patut la ibu marah aku gile2 sbb xnk g...
Well,kesedaran last minute aku mmg aplikasi er kat smua keadaan....
Report Lab/technical paper/FYP/study for exam,thesis and even for this event I settle it in 2 days bfore taking the robe....owh3,adakala last minute yg mmg dirancang...
mlas nk dtg awal2 utk konvo...buying new shoes  for this day..new hairstyle(for those y tak pkai hijab)..semua pon rasa nk new...tough at first ko x pikir nk beli....nnti bile dh pikir2...msti mcm nk beli thing gak...but syukur lah sbb I did these thing last minute...JUST piCK thINgs In the wArdrobe .
MAke UP pon mascara n eyeshadow jeda er..uhuks...

Aku benci keserabutan selepas konvo..smasa nk nek pentas...sblum nek pentas..masa turun pentas..duduk dlam line yg sempit...Benci...

It really good to have someone you love especially your parents and family there...But yet,still do wanna be with ur good friends too...aku benci hakikat time konvo rasa nk amek pic ngn  kawan2..last2 kwn2 ntah bersepah hilang mane...sbb masing2 xde planning...n last2 g menepek kat ayam penyet....borak2 psal strip club...adoyaiii~lwaks giler....
But,yeah...maybe convocation not all about good picture you taking by wearing those fatty robe.But moment you appreciate every little heart that warmly and kindly make you achieve the scroll.
So this convocation not about me at all.It for you dear Family and friends who there or not....
I'm lucky for having you in my life.....I'm happy cause I still have you until now...
Some will go,Some will stay,Some remain the same,and there are some who turn to be completely strangers with each others(okey fine,effect dr tgk GLee ni ayat pon jd geli2..)..For whoever u'll become...This is for you~

oppss,but hadiah n bunga still untuk aku....hahaha ^_^

Dalam

How can I decide what's right? 

When you're clouding up my mind 

Can't win your losing fight 

all the time 

Not gonna ever own what's mine 

When you're always taking sides 

You won't take away my pride 

No, not this time

How did we get here? 

when I use to know you so well 

How did we get here? 

Well, I think I know 

disaat kaki ak diratah nyamuk ni....
ler lagi rasa nk merapu~ I've lot to say tonight,or even last night..maybe this gonna b forever...
someone told me dat I never try to do it right..
Dan sekarang ni...it just getting worst.parah dan bernanah.

'Aku akur dengan hati yg busuk..Supaya dapat kau lihat yg indah diluar.'

I wish I could spell it out,from alphabets to word...
from words to perfect description from right inside my soul...
But everything will b so wrong...
I might end up using harsh words and some mean explanation from what I've been through...
So I end up listening instead of describing.
Realize, it never gonna be a good solution in a long term...
Yet the picture getting uglier this many years
 I just bare with your dream.cause I don't want any of us to get hurt .
But maybe I wrong~maybe I don't have any guts to tell you...
Pathetically coward I am.... 

Kaseh sayang tu pelik...Knape mesti tunjuk dengan cara yg pelik...
Cara yg buat aku rasa asing...I'm no one but human who try to breath under the same sky...
Cuba melihat bintang yg sama dari longitude dan latitude yg berbeda...
Dan kita melihat KEINDAHAN itu dengan CaRa  X sama.
Manusia mmg kejadian yg ANEH....Memilih untuk melihat perkara yg DisUKA
Mencipta ALasAn yg hilang LoGik disaat haBES daLiL dan hUJaH...
kEraNa dia Tahu...aKU akan Setia di PAksI serUpa...
aKU masEh uTUh denGAn JawaPAn yg LebIh dari pasTi...
Penghujung nya...Aku tetap yg tewas..
Toleransi?skadar ucapan waktu mahu rasa selesa...
Ya,ak maseh lg manusia PELIK yg lemah....
Yang lelah berdiri diantara garisan yang mmbeza kan taraf manusia..
Kerana aku rasa kekalahan dan benci rasa itu.


Prinsipku..cuma sampah yang kau lihat...
Lalu kau biarkan ak tersesat dalam impian mu.


Penat ku...anggapanmu keGILAan aku tak pasti...
Lantas kau buat aku berhenti DaN hilang dari mimpiku sendiri

BEnAR ak bukan penentu JAlaN akhir diri ku..
Tapi kau lupa, aku maseh percaya takdir Tuhan Yang Sasksama.
Walau DisUrat selamanya kau tak mampu hargai aku sebagai AKU.
Walau tersirat.Kau mahu aku wujud untuk Kau banggakan.
DImana kita Sama-sama tak mampu  hadap realiti 
 waLaU sedAR aku jua rapuh dan LeTih untuk berTahan....

Lastly,aku masih aku yg semalam.Just sick and tired of shouting and fighting.