Stop the hatred.and how

i was shocked seeing this video from my friend  wall post during eid adha..
trully this is one of effin story and problem with guy who wearing kupiah time ceramah.or mgaku ustaz but we don't really know if he telling the truth or not

bagi aku 80% taxpayer tu bukan malay mungkin sbb most of us slalu er dah tolak sbb bayar zakat.
dah tolak sbb charity etc..
aku pon bsangka baik la..bagi aku mmg la kaum satu ni ramai yang kaya.
tapi takkan la hina sangat org kita.I believe statistic is just a number.there are so many factor we should consider...

zaman bkamera sana sni.senang-senang je org rakam n tambahkan salah faham...

old boring story

when dad was around we used to talked about why he think old spelling are much better and pronounce it right compare with what we currently use...He made me fall in love with literature in most of classic book I've read..

He truly want me to do good at math which I don't...but end up I do engineering and feel bad about it till now...Probably I'm not suited with this world...If Allah will,I wish to be somewhere I could contribute my idea and dedicate my life doing something I truly enjoy.

I still could not figure it out yet...Well,if people truly asked me what I've been dream off when I was a kid.I would love seeing myself writing a book.but it seem like my writing keep getting worst.depands on spelling checker all the time..other than that,I wish to volunteer going around the world and help unfortunate child and women...Which I don't really know how to do it cause I feel like I'm too unfriendly and not able to make friend easily.

I have to admit I try it soo many time but it such an awkward and I couldn't do it...

Sadly I can't be happy

I try not to give up...

But I am not able to hold this fear any longer..fear?am I afraid to fail?Am I afraid to go through thing I never expect before.

I have a bad feeling from the start.From the moment I arrive at the place...Tetiba semua er jadi sangat sulit...pusing-pusing kawasan perumahan yang sama untuk cari office.nak dekat sejam aku pusing area yang sama tapi tak jumpa.Iya,mungkin Tuhan saja mahu uji aku.semua ni tak berlaku tanpa izin dari-Nya.Aku kena pegang benda ni sampai bila-bila..Tapi nak terima hakikat bukan mudah.

I need to start back.Ya Allah,rezeki dariMu.dan hak Allah untuk amek balik apa yang Dia dah bagi.Dan aku rela,pulang kan nikmat yang ini..Sebab dalam hati aku,dah takde tinggal lagi harapan.Takde lagi perasaan nak tolong atau percaya pada sesiapa.Biarlah semua ni jadi sebagai pengajaran.

I am disappointing for what happen here.I might make a mistake but I have try my best for helping out.It seem like it not good enough.Or I would say if there are success why people keep on leaving?

Aku ni hari kedua dah rasa nak berambus...Sakit hati gila sebab susah sangat nak dapat kerjasama..memang takde sape nak guide aku.Poyo la this old person call himself as consultant but failed to consult people. 

simptom sengal

ada pelbagai simptom manusia dah kerja ni...
1) yang komplen pasal kerja..tapi takde perasaan nak carik kerja lain...
    kesimpulan = saje nak hilang kan stress dengan bebel-bebel.
2)yang komplen pasal kerja dan tekad nak carik kerja lain.
   kesimpulan = maybe kerja kat tempat yang tak best.kawan kerja takbest...
                         semua pon tak best.so decide berhenti tanpa ragu-ragu
3) kerja semua dah best.relax and sempoi semua.tapi rasa gaji tak cukup.
4) kerja gaji masyuk tapi tanggungjawab besar..kena selalu travel.selalu buat benda yang tak suka.
 kesimpulan =selagi halal teruskan ar dulu buat kumpul duit...buat melabur tempat lain.lepas 10tahun berhenti dan sebagai er...

too scared to be brave.

Right now ,I'm looking for part time or casual work.since my class haven't not start yet.There still time for me to edit my resume and applying for the job.There are several job offer at the uni website.At least there are hope.
yesterday I went to ISs for some program for new student.I'm not sure why.I did asking on how can I find a these kind of job.I really hope she would able to help me.
But yeah..almost of the unit of orientation volunteer seem like want to help me.but I don't think they did..I probably understand communicate with foreign student like me can be a quit difficult.It ain't easy for me to.Yeah,I wish I did speak more english when I was in Malaysia cause it really hard now to adjust my 'slang' to make them understand me.
plus I always terrified on each step I take.not on my safety.I just terried if I trembling down and don't able to face the future I really wanna hold. but because I knew I need a help.I have to push myself doing thing I dont want to.almost all of my time I keep checking on my QUT.wish to join every important program for a new student..I can be lost in here...sure,it hard to be alone.but it better to make myself be more focus on what I'm trying to achieve here.

there not lot people that really kind to help.if there is.very few.it a city.face it.everyone just being selfish including me.decided to borrow this text book since I don't want to spend money on buying a text book unless it really needed....

i'm overwhelmed yes...

koje

Lagi beberapa hari sebelum aku lepas kan jawatan skang ni...
Hahaha,mcm bangang je aku rasa walau tak sampai 3bulan jadi engineer..
rasa mcm bangang lagi2 kalau keje jadi QA mcm aku.

Tak pasti la mana silap..salah aku fresh graduate ke..salah sbb kilang ni operate 24hours ke..
salah aku dari awal amek course y aku dh give up ni...
takde salah sape2 er..mmg aku takde hati.takde minat..dah hilang sgala motivasi aku.

Satu hari aku dah tension gile...aku msg kwan aku;
"weh,tak best pon jadi engineer.ke sbb aku keje kilang y tak best ni"
aku tak berharap dia support aku pon..sbb niat mmg nak luahkan perasaan je...
tetiba dia reply "mmg tak best pon...aku rasa mcm dah tak nak keje engineer je"
LOL,aku ingat if laki ler accept smua ni...rupa er sama je ngn aku mereng er...dia lak bukan keje kilang mcm aku..hahaha.baguih la tu...
sebelum tu aku dh dapat mcm2 'nasihat' bila borak ngn kwn len..aku kate tak nk keje kilang...
dia bler sound balik;
"dah tu kau nak keje mane?kilang je la byk position utk engineering...ko nak keje maxis,digi...dorg crik bdk comm.oil and gas mostly nk laki"
cis!!sia2 aku kena lahar balik.time tu baru nk keluh kesah sket...

at first moment aku step office ni aku mmg dah rasa aura y aku tak dapat nak teruskan..
bila cite kat geng y sma2 masuk  dorg motivate la aku kate try la dulu...
walau niat aku nk try setahun...last2 ak dh tak cite kat sape2.Balik dari satu meeting ni.dah sedap tadah kena maki ngn bos aku..dah best bbuka kul 8mlm.
time kena maki tu aku dlm hati "lantak ko lah nk cakap ape..esk aku mmg nak antar surat resign."nasihat org suh aku carik keje len dulu..which is impposible la ngn koje aku y mmg free nak mampos tu.aku mmg tekad.n cukup lah dapat rasa jd engineer utk 3bulan lepas lebey 8 tahun aku belaja smua kebrengsetan ini.

Engine Dah Semput

Can't believe I actually wanna talk bout this...

After long way study in engineer field.from skolah teknik untill now I already hold this title.After almost 10years

now I feel.........................................


N O T H I N G    S P E C I A L A B O U T   I T!

bosan bila kengkwn y sama course sebok nak buat ayat 'proud to be engineer.'  la hape la...

amenda la enko ni...Org y jadi CEO pon takde buat ayat "I'm proud to be CEO"

It's just like other job in this world...takde beza er.task je mungkin bberbeza...

 takyah la nk tengking2 korg er tech.mcm mane teruk pon dorg buat keje.tak semesti er korang sendiri bagus..Organize your team well la braaaah~ jgn kluar air liur je lebih....

and aku plan utk keje in this field not even more thn 1yr.
Mmg takde hati kot....stakat nk cantikkan resume...
Apply la jadi keje y aku bler balik opis g shoping.....(Eh,terberangan pulak)

kemain lg nk proud2....
proud to be muslim sudah...end!smoga mati dlm iman....


(post ni dibikin tapi mengecheck post sblum ni...)
nama er motivasi aku dh hilang....blurrrrghhhhhh